Beer Pong Video Game Taps Teen Market

There are certain phrases that should be bookended by inverted commas, "Professional Psychic" being one of them. We'd previously thought "Beer Pong Industry", was another, until we ran afoul of one of the makers of a portable Beer Pong table, a slapped-together contrivance we took great delight in mocking until they gave us a stern reprimand. Don't be fooled by their insouciance, as much like the Freemasons, they mean business.

Beer pong, for the uninitiated, un-phased by all the innuendo-laden pics we've posted here, is like billiards if you had to drink a cup of beer every time your opponent sunk a shot, and risked sending pavement pizza all over the felt, and frankly, completely marring the game's inherent gentility (Snooker, that is, not 9-ball, where in less reputable taverns, someone sporting an eye-patch and a denim vest will hustle you out of a week's pay)

Played on a table tennis-like surface with plastic cups, Beer Pong involves sinking a plastic ball into one of your opponents' cups, forcing them to remove the cup from the table after the contents are consumed (typically mass-produced swill that Belgians wouldn't serve to their alcoholic dogs, but any beverage of your choice will do).

The first team that rids the other of their cups, as they get increasingly into them, is the winner, if by 'winner' you mean the team that doesn't immediately strip down to their skivvies, put their head through a glass door or otherwise make their parents resent forking over hard-earned mutual fund dollars so no-goodnick fruits of their loins could get the 'whole college experience'.

JV Games of Las Vegas, like the makers of Grand Theft Auto [click here] have stirred up a giant goulash soup of controversy with their new Beer Pong game for the Nintendo Wii (a game console that allows you to mimic popular sports, without having to go outdoors or have any discernible skill).

After objections from various state law-makers to the Entertainment Software Rating Board, JV Games has had to alter the name of the yet-to-be-released game, Beer Pong, (rated suitable for post tween future booze-hounds), to Pong Toss and is eliminating all references to alcohol, except for, it should be noted, 'Toss', or, for that matter 'Pong'.
Now, we can see the entire beer pong industry quaking in their soiled boots, as instead of drunken participants having to track down a custom table with a bikini-clad woman on it resembling the woman here (everything IS indeed bigger in Texas) for over $200, they can just play virtually, without having to clean up any spills that aren't internally generated.

For anyone who is interested in pursuing this further, the good folks at 'Webtender' have a handy list of Drinking Games (and are not responsible for any related stomach pumpings), which they'll no doubt update once Pong Toss takes the gaming and heavy college drinking worlds by storm.

Of course, detractors of the Grand Theft Auto series will tell you that while the video game is fun and all, nothing can compare with the thrill of actually staging a carjacking or committing vehicular homicide, and the same is no doubt true with Beer Pong, or Flip Cup as it's known to the guys staging the largest tournament of its kind ever in the US in October.

The Flip Cup Guys contacted us about the event, which will take place on October 11, 2008 at the M1-5 Bar and Lounge in New York City and will feature 64 six-player teams and, presumably, an army of mops at the ready. That they also mention "open beer bar specials" means that there is a possibility of a Shark Guy showing up.

Check it out and get yourself registered early at: www.FlipCupGuys.com!

Happy 4th of July! The Shark Guys' Top 10 Shopping Guide for the Patriot Who Has Everything

We are both Canadian, as those who are close to us and those who update our driver's licenses every 10 years know (these two groups are, for now, mutually exclusive... but we're working on buttering up a few of the people who give the eyesight test).

However, we have enjoyed numerous benders throughout the United States, most memorably in New Orleans, Nashville and New York City (Doc Holliday's currently has a plaque by our barstools which we visit on occasion to spit shine), California, and a fair number of ports of call in between. The vast majority of the stories in our book, "The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death and Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery" took place in the USA and, while that might not be something that McCain or Obama would mention in patriotic speeches while campaigning, it is something that we greatly appreciate.

As such, we'd like to extend our wishes for a happy fourth of July to our American friends, and, going that one step further, we'd also like to offer a gift of sorts on this auspicious day, a Shark Guys look at The Top 10 Fourth of July party gear. It may be too late for this merch to brighten up this Fourth of July, but as with Christmas lights on the house in June, it's never too early to get ready for an upcoming holiday even if it's months off. So here it is...

The Shark Guys guide to Fourth of July Party Gear!

1) Stars and Stripes Guitar-Shaped Belt-Buckle and Bottle Opener: This product, which can be yours for the low-low price of $15.99, is quite possibly the greatest patriotic item in the history of mankind. Are we exaggerating? Short answer: No. This is for the patriotic citizen who is looking to spend his Independence Day kicking ass and chewing bubblegum, but who suddenly finds himself lacking completely in bubble gum. Not only is this item rock n' roll by its very shape -- tell us you don't think of Jimi Hendrix's version of the Star Spangled Banner when you clock your eyes on to that -- but it's also an extremely versatile product. First it will help hold up your pants, and if you're going to be cutting loose on the dance floor this Independence Day, that's a mighty important thing. Two, you can open your beers on it. What's more, you can make friends, and possibly win a future wife, by letting others open their beers on your belt. Of course, any bar where belt-buckles like this are the norm might be the kind of place where a broken nose and a fist-fight are part of the floor show. That is where it's third use comes in: as a weapon. What better way to celebrate your country's birthday then by leaving the impression of Ole' Glory on some idiot's forehead?

2) American Flag-themed rolling papers: While marijuana is still illegal under US federal law, several states have decriminalized in it. In California, you can get a medical permit to access enough of the stuff to make Snoop Dogg want to throw up from the smell. Celebrate the great freedoms in the US that only promise to get greater as the decriminalization of pot continues by sparking up an Independence Day joint that is the size of Shaq's middle finger using these appropriately-themed rolling papers.

3) Budweiser American Eagle Beer-tap Handle: Frank Zappa once said "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

America's beer (for now, until the takeover deal with Belgian mega-brewer Inbev goes through), and a surprisingly popular choice in Ireland where there is better beer (like Beamish) on offer, is Budweiser. We cannot trash talk this brew too too much as we have our own similarly shite beers in Canada, thank you Messers Molson and Labatt. This ornamental beer tap however can be put on any sort of brew and you can put a piece of masking tape over the Budweiser name. Drinking draft beer is about the most pleasantly patriotic thing we can think of doing, and what better way to do that then by tapping the symbol of American freedom, and the motif for many a bad tattoo, the bald eagle.

4) Story of the American Revolution Beer Stein: You've sat through hours of history class in school and made a concerted effort to forget what you were learning the moment it hit your ears. You watched the HBO John Adams miniseries and enjoyed it, but couldn't reconcile one of your founding fathers being played by that guy from Sideways who slurped wine out of a McDonald's super-sized cup. So how do you keep up with a conversation on patriotism and the American tradition on this auspicious day? By guzzling beer from one of these handsomely decorated beer steins. Running along the sides of the beer steins are four of the most important battles of the revolutionary war -- the Battle of Bunker Hill, the Battle of Princeton, the Battles of Saratoga and the Siege of Yorktown. Remembering these four names and remarking, "Ah, it really gets to you when you think of the fine men who fought at [insert name of battle depending on position of stein at the time of utterance]." If you're drinking with fellow patriots, and you are drinking in public (the latter unlikely unless you are the kind of guy who brings his own stein to the bar, in which case we salute you) someone may even buy you a round.

5) US Military Pool Cue Set: Americans may not have invented the game of billiards, but they have certainly produced some of its finest champions, invariably dubbed 'Fats' and they most definitely have made the best movies on the sport -- we're talking "The Hustler", not its inferior sequel which Martin Scorsese made to pay off creditors. The cues can be purchased separately and there is one each for the Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, and the U.S. Flag. This is the ideal way to support the troops on Independence Day, acknowledge the sacrifices made by past generations so that you could enjoy your present freedoms, and win 10 bucks by hustling some rube who thinks you can't play worth a damn.

6) Stars and Stripes Nunchucks: If you party the way you should be partying on Independence Day, chances are the neighbors are going to get upset. Raising a ruckus and getting all the neighborhood dogs howling in unison is what freedom is all about. The perfect gift for the Independence Day partier who lives on the wrong side of the tracks, these slick-looking nun chucks will most certainly club the nearest beat cop investigating a disturbance into quick submission. They have "don't tread on me" written all over them. It is recommended when rapping someone across the knees with these babies that you say something along the lines of "And that, came from the good ole' U, S, of A".


7) Old Glory Surgical Cap: While in revolutionary times, it's unlikely to have been donned while lopping off a gangrenous limb, you can perform impromptu living room gallbladder removals or, if you're actually a saw bones, atrial septal defect repair in the more sanitary confines of a surgical suite, while winking at the surgical nurses who'd no doubt delight in your youthful exuberance.



8) Stars & Stripes Guitar Pick Earrings. Have you ever been at a party where you're asked to rock out on someone's axe, and you demur with a 'uh, I don't have a pick?' (or even a Mexican peso, famously played by Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top) Well, now you don't have to empty out lint-riddled pockets with your very own, guitar pick earrings. Also works well with Hendrix, playing-guitar-behind-your-head impressions [for a quick tutorial, check out this portly fellow]



9) Red, White and Blue Cat Collar: Make Fluffy easier to find if she makes a mad dash for freedom.





10) A Hat That Will Give you a Standing Ovation: This item speaks for itself, as does the pained expression on the model's face, who looks like she's being asked to 'pull my finger' rather than the string that makes the hands clap.

HAPPY FOURTH AMERICA!

Belgian Beer Bonanza! Cantillon Brewery Tour, Brussels

It's impossible to forget the first time your taste-buds are left smarting from a slap of Belgian beer.

Like most, I was weaned on traditional lager or pilsener, the kind of stuff 'Johnny Sixpack' might pick up in his, well, pick-up.

To make watching sporting events palatable, such as our failing local hockey team's perpetual first round exit from the playoffs, or as an adjunct to a post-work barbecue in someone's suburban backyard, our greatest concern was a six-pack that wouldn't tax the wallet---and would leave us comfortably under the $10-dollar mark to to grab a bag of Doritos and pay for the last bus of the night without having to scramble for change.

If any of these bargain garage sale suds strayed too far from having what we came later to realize was a distinctly "beer" finish, it wasn't uncommon to hear "it's got a bitter aftertaste" bellyaching. This was odd, given that whenever anyone would inhale a candy bar, you'd never hear a "isn't that a sweet aftertaste?"

Belgian beer, as I came to learn, not only has aftertaste, but a heady "before" and "during" taste as well, and furthermore, some types weren't bitter at all.

Like the first time I guzzled a Guinness and realized it wasn't a facsimile of orange juice, like a Corona, or the first time I took a belt of whiskey left out in the bedroom of an older acquaintance whose jail-bait sis was hosting a party for precocious 9th grade tipplers, I realized it was a flavor distinctly unlike I'd ever encountered.

Most people's experience with Belgian beer comes via Stella Artois, which goes to show just how damn spoiled the Belgians are as that is the worst beer they make.

However, their other, more interesting beers trace their origins back to monasteries from the Middle Ages, and the product was so damn good many a monk broke their vow of silence to say as much. Unlike a lager, where the yeast ferments at the bottom at cooler temperatures, or an ale, the opposite, where the bits of goodness rise to the top, Belgian 'Lambic' beers do so spontaneously within the bottle itself.

This is admittedly a bit weird, and leaves the drinker wondering if the little bits floating around in the bottom of the bottle aren't the result of the local bog water source, rather than natural springs. It's also closed with a cork, so that you couldn't give it to the guy who got straight A's in shop class to remove the cap with his teeth.

Lambic beers are also laid down like fine wine to age, and sparkle as well. One of the sub-types (Kriek) is given a second fermentation with sour cherries, and another (Gueuze), is sometimes called Brussels Champagne.

For a country with a population only slightly higher than that of New York City, Belgium has 125 breweries, and an eye-popping 1000 + brands. Having been recently wowed by fruit beers, not for sissies as it turns out as they often pack a 10 and 12% alcohol punch, I figured I'd make a beer pilgrimage to the land that makes, and it pains me to say this with a mother and grandparents who hail from Germany, the world's finest beer.

I visited the Cantillon brewery, and if anyone is interested reading more about the brewing process, you can do so here, as this is not the forum to bore you with minutiae.

-- Chris

For more Shark Guy travels, check out what happened to Ireland's supply of a certain stout called Beamish when Noel visited the Emerald Isle by clicking here.

Beer Acronyms: What PBR REALLY Stands for: "Pretty bad refreshment"

What kind of beer do you like to drink, neighbor?
Heineken.
Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Blue Velvet (1989)

Tastes and preferences are often established early in life, and an aversion to say, the music of Celine Dion or Jimmy Buffet likely forms somewhere during the third trimester.

There are those whose first exposure to beer, sadly, occurs around this period as well (and who are then predisposed to voting Republican) but for most of us, the first time a cold one hits the taste-buds, is by surreptitious sip of the old man's
Amstel Light during a half-time bathroom break to walk the dog.

For others, it's shaking down the basement sofa for enough loose change to procure a bottle of the cheapest and most easily accessible hooch. The first beer beverage purchased, usually by an older brother, or the guy who sported a 5 O'Clock shadow at age of 14 and whose fettuccine arms could be hidden with several sweaters and an overcoat, is some mass-market swill with an advertising budget that exceeds the GDP of the entire Caribbean.

In Canada, it's the ubiquitous Molson Canadian, synonymous with hockey (or 'ice hockey' as it's referred to in the States to differentiate it from, I don't know, tonsil hockey), the music of Bachman Turner Overdrive and that uncle who spends the better part of the afternoon in a hammock, awaking periodically to get you to fetch him one.

The equivalent state-side is Coors, and it's no coincidence that these are brewed by the same manufacturer, and that they likely come from the same giant kettle as well and just have a Molson label slapped on for export north of the border.

Mediocre brews such as Budweiser, Miller or Molson are usually abandoned once a level of disposable income is reached to be able to absorb the extra $3 forked over for something premium, or during those college years, in exchange for skipping a few meals.

Interestingly, defenders of the swill are trying to block the takeover of The King of Beers by Belgian monolith Inbev. According to reports, last night more than 27,000 had heeded the call, signing an online petition to stop the takeover of the brewer of Budweiser.

Pabst Blue Ribbon is inexplicably popular too, perhaps solely for the ease with which a can of it is stuffed into a freezer so it can be chilled within minutes on a hot day, or perhaps because of its 'slumming it' hipster cache.

Anyway, here are three beers from our youth, Miller Genuine Draft (MGD), Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) and Bud, and what these really stand for. Thanks to our good buddies over at College Drinker for the idea...

MGD
Mediocre, god-awful drink
Maligned ginger-beer doppelganger
Mostly generic disappointment
Must be gluttonous dipsomaniac
Mild, gaseous, dismal

BUD
Beastly Undrinkable Drek
Basically Unfortunate Drink
Beer Under-agers Drink
Brew Unquestionably Dreadful
Base Ubiquitous Disgrace
Bubbly Urine-like Draft

PBR
Pretty bad refreshment
Possibly beer refuse
Potential brew rejected
Promoted by rabble
Prohibited by rarefied
Positively below rank
Patently banal rubbish

The Top Bouncers of All Time!

If your job description includes being able to thrash someone within an inch of their miserable lives and doing so with impunity while enjoying the odd drink on the job, you're either a cop or a bouncer.

Recently, we shone the spotlight on everyone's favorite enablers, bartenders, in our Top 10 Coolest Bartenders of All Time, but what of the guys whose job it is to look menacing and keep raging, violent drunks on the other side of the velvet rope (so they can beat up random strangers, instead of the good folks who patronize your pub)?

Bouncers, like cops, are there to maintain the status quo: ensuring that the good-looking, monied classes get preferential treatment and aren't made to shuffle their feet with the rest of the lumpenproles in line, however this isn't their sole responsibility: they're also called upon to do the kind of math long forgotten since the 5th grade: being able to calculate how old someone is, simply by looking at the date of birth on their authentic, state of Hawaii Driver's License.

Bouncers face occupational hazards that the average cop doesn't have to deal with, the "I could take that guy" delusion that drunks with superhuman Popeye strength brought on by cheap bourbon rather than leafy greens think they possess. A cop faced with a similar notion could, say, have you quickly chalk outlined on the street, whereas a bouncer has to put aside their headset and determine whether a disorderly patron can be talked down, or separated from both their dental work/teary girlfriend and sent a-packing.

You'd think a profession where there's a near constant threat of having a pinot bottle slammed off the side of your noggin like a newly christened cruise ship would land bouncers more film and TV gigs beyond the usual "Sorry sir, I don't see a 'Lindonhoffer', party of two, anywhere on the list?" roles. Generally though, it's their biceps that are called upon to wring the neck of the depressed, drunk protagonist, ignoring pleas of the leading lady as they toss them out of their favorite watering hole.

The doormen we've focused on here however, have accomplished more than simply folding burly arms and wearing suits three sizes too small, they've become pop culture icons.

So, for those who get paid to kick some gluteus max outside the confines of a ring or the auspices of an Athletic Commission, and who'd rather hold out for bribes than slave for tips, we honor the humble bouncer, with our Top Bouncers of All Time!

9) Pat Roach, "A Clockwork Orange": Roach, a Judo black-belt and former wrestler, played a red-bearded bouncer in the Stanley Kubrick classic (below), and though he didn't actually utter any lines, he impressed the director so much that he was cast in "Barry Lyndon" and then famously, as the guy who gets his ass beat twice in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and is dispatched by propeller (right). The mute Clockwork role eventually led to parts in "Never Say Never Again", "Willow" and "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves". For making the most of being menacing, and doing security detail for one of the coolest bars around, the Korova, which serves up narcotics-laced milk rather than the use with which we're more familiar---as a tasty dairy adjunct to Kahlua, Roach lands a spot here.










8) Michael Clarke Duncan, "A Night at the Roxbury": SNL, for the better part of a decade, has brought us mirth-free Saturday nights, but prior to this, they were known to broaden eight-minute sketches into gray matter-atrophying, feature-length forgettables. "A Night at the Roxbury" bucked this trend somewhat, and did its best to derive Toyota Prius-like comic mileage from heads bopping along to the beat of What is Love? (baby don't hurt me). Michael Clarke Duncan, the hulking gawk who later starred alongside Tom Hanks in the Green Mile, is no stranger to holding onto a clipboard having held down bouncer roles in both Bulworth and Married with Children for the doorman trifecta.






7) Craig Robinson, "Knocked Up": In most movies, bouncers get about as much dialogue and have as much on-screen presence as a large cactus, but "Knocked Up" bucked that trend with its hilarious exchange between Craig Robinson, of "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" and "The Office" fame and Lesley Mann. Striking a blow on behalf of anyone ever deemed too ugly or old to enter a club, the Mann character lays into the bouncer, "What the fuck is your problem? I'm not going anywhere, you're just some roided out freak with a fucking clipboard!" Robinson, showing that, although all appearances may at times point otherwise, bouncers are human after all admits that the system is unfair, "It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth."









6) Max Baer, "The Prizefighter and the Lady": Boxer Baer famously got Hitler's mustache in a twist by dispatching Max Schmeling at Yankee stadium, while sporting Star of David trunks. "Madcap Maxie" also laid out 6'6 Italian strongman Primo "The Ambling Alp" Carnera, who, along with former heavyweight champ Jack Dempsey make appearances in the 1933 flick, "The Prizefighter and the Lady", about a bouncer-turned boxer who tries to not let fame, fortune and loose women get to his punching bag rattled head. Baer also famously killed a man in the ring, an achievement he appears to relish if we're to take the Ron Howard movie "Cinderella Man" at its word. With that kind of resume, he's the exact kind of guy you'd want to be standing at your door if you're a bar owner to pound a hippy into the dust if need be.








5) Steve Collins and Lenny 'Gov-nor' Mclean, "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels": More former boxers to add to the list, same flick: one legit (well, as 'legit' as the current state of boxing could ever be), The "Celtic Warrior" Steve Collins, who once said of pound-for-pound champ Roy Jones after a deal fell through that he'd "fight him in a phone box in front of two men and a dog". The other bouncer pugilist, famous in the less than legit London East End bare-knuckle scene, was a 500 lb bench-presser, who tossed enough toothless yobs out the front door of enough taverns to be crowed 'King of Bouncers' in the city's pub scene. Though technically not portraying a bouncer in this film, The Guv-nor gets kudos here for his Barry the Baptist portrayal as well as for his scene stealing appearance in Bounce: Behind the Velvet Rope


"No one in here but card-players tonight and I do mean no one!'





4) Ray Winstone, "Bouncer". The “Don’t forget to carry a big fuck off stick” and "This is the biggest irony. The ones that like you the least, normally those who have a degree in philosophy under their pacifist belts, and absolutely no fuckin' idea about the reality of life outside the college campus, they are the ones that need you most when shit and fan meet." bits of counsel, lands Winstone a spot here. Another former boxer, but more interestingly, another Indiana Jones connection here in that Winstone is to appear in the forthcoming flick Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, alongside Hollywood A-listers John Hurt, Cate Blanchett and the increasingly creaky piece of archeology that is Harrison Ford. Winstone, the actor, is a fan of the east London soccer team West Ham United, which neatly segues into our third position.





3) Ricki Harnett, "Rise of the Footsoldier" This Brit flick chronicles the rise of Carlton Leach, a West Ham soccer hooligan whose exploits randomly beating the crap out of opposing team supporters, were exactly the tools of the trade required to bounce in some of east London's dive bars before becoming an enforcer for the local neighborhood heroin dealers.
"Everybody got what they came for. If you came in looking for a drink and a couple of birds, that’s what you got. But if you came in for anything else, you’d end up with my fist in your face. And if you came back with your little army wrapped around ya, well, I’d just have to get my metal bar out."



2. Chow Yun Fat in "Full Contact" Chow Yun Fat plays a club bouncer in the seedy back streets of Bangkok, Thailand, where instead of laying the smack down on pudgy middle aged Dutch pedophiles, runs afoul of a sleazy underworld boss and has to flee with his dancer girlfriend, a fellow bouncer, and his best buddy. Shown here in full on switchblade, ass-beating glory, here's some 'Fat' camp.

Beer prices up! German consumption falls! Stay calm folks

In our spare time, the odd hour of sobriety as well as professionally, we're not only "festive boozing consultants" (with carefully hand-crafted-in-the-garage business cards to prove it) but self appointed industry analysts taking the sector's pulse and checking for slow, shallow breathing of the type the gentlemen pictured here might experience if they kept up this activity for a protracted period.

With the buzz from 2007 wearing off and the promise of a brighter and more prosperous 08 (our jobs have yet to be outsourced to humorists in India) we Shark Guys were ready to stagger into the New Year without tripping and falling on the panic button. However we’ve just smashed the protective glass case and wrapped a towel around a hand to stop the bleeding. This is the same hand that would’ve ordinarily been extended— palm out, to demand a traffic cop-like halt to a disturbing trend post haste, or slapped down in a Jeopardy-style buzz-in: "What is beer?: the correct response to the clue: ‘hops and barley prices have risen sharply over the last year, affecting the cost of this vital, lifeblood if you will, consumer staple.’

Our pulses quickened, and we experienced lightheadedness that could not be explained as the result of too many push ups when we confirmed that beer prices were indeed on the rise. This recently caused one of the biggest manufacturers, Anheuser-Busch, a sector benchmark, to raise prices of its mass-market undrinkable swill, Budweiser, to counteract the rising cost of ingredients. This will affect our bottom line, in terms of housewarming gifts, but also because of the trickle down effect to the makers of the high end stuff we ourselves consume.

Speaking of which, in another disturbing trend per-capita beer consumption in Germany, once the world's largest consumer of the drink (and home to a world record, 1284 breweries), fell yet again—the eighth decline in the last nine years. This is of special concern to us, not only because their beer is tops in our book, figuratively speaking, but because its country folk figure so prominently in our actual book, The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death and Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery. The country's Brewery Association managing director predicted the decline would begin to have a negative impact as Germans are inexplicably turning to more non-alcoholic beverages, which does not bode well for us in terms of amassing as wide-ranging a compendium of stories for a sequel.

And what's the situation in Canada you ask? (as writer's block and a spontaneous bout of delirium tremens is preventing a proper segue). Well, AOL Canada recently purchased a limited edition Stella Artois for $15,000 in what the Financial Post reported was "the most expensive six-pack in the world", and across our great land, per capita consumption of our fave legal drug has increased more than 11 per cent over the past decade so perhaps things aren't as worrisome as they appear. Knock on that wooden bar top...A toast to a heavy beer swillin' 08 with this Irish proverb!

"It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow
than to spend tonight like there's no money."